My girls and I spent the night with a woman I have identified with since the moment I could remember music... I've always said I was a California 70's country girl channeling my inner Stevie Nicks... As I watched Fleetwood Mac perform last night I thought about how each of their songs had a place in my growth as an adult.Dreams... A song I've loved since I first heard it. It became my go to song in the late 80's whenever I was in a bar attempting to sing karaoke... I'm not a fabulous singer by any means but I can do a smoky Stevie....
Song Bird... I dedicated this song to an old boyfriend that died in a crash in 1989. That and Sitting on the Dock of the Bay always remind me of him. Song Bird was more for the name because he was a Snow Bird. I adored him but we weren't together long enough for the sentiments of this beautiful song to ring true for me for him...
Landslide... The older I get the more this song just grows in my heart.... The landslides we must go through to change and mature and hope in the end the trash in your life is swept away as we brush off the dirt and stand strong again... "But times make you bolder, children grow older, I'm getting older too... I take my love and I take it down..." Yeah boo nourish the flowers on your hill or a landslide will bring you down.... (not directed at you Bill.. just society in general)
Second Hand News... The trash that we hope gets recycled into anothers life and out of ours forever... This is dedicated to all of our ex's... :)As I listened to my life in music... I reflected about the changes I'd gone through in my life in the past 30 years and in the past year. Memories flooded me. I smiled... I sniffled... I remembered my karaoke days at Pierce Street Annex, the bar I worked at in my early 20's... I remembered listening to Rumours over and over and over again... That album was one that soothed my soul... lyrics like "wont you let me lay you in the tall grass and let me do my stuff..." to "Don't say that you love me, just say that you want me..." to "it's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and have you any dreams you want to sell..." to "and the song bird's keep singing like they know the score and I love you I love you I love you like never before...." they make me grin and cry and think about life....
Historical tidbit... at the concert Stevie mentioned that Lindsay had gone to Menlo/Atherton High School- this is south of where I grew up. I told Alex that this meant that Lindsay grew up in a monied household. I spoke to my step father later in the evening and told him this and he gave me a little bit of history (he's a San Francisco Bay Area/California historian)... Lindsay's brother Greg was an Olympic swimmer... Lindsay swam as well as Greg did. Lindsay's swim coach in college told him to "give up this music business you'll never amount to anything in it..." To this day the swim coach still bemoans his now historical error.... bwahahaha... as I watched Lindsay perform last night I knew I was watching a Rock and Roll ICON. The man is an amazing guitarist and singer.
Anyway, so Stevie's talking about the San Francisco music scene and I see it in my head. I grew up there. Worked around the scene. While my high school years were in the 80's... my era is the 70's... The long flowing hair with daisy chains... Amazing ice cream in the Haight (Ashbury).... She's talking about the bands she opened for... the same bands I snuck out to see without my parents knowing... Grateful Dead... Jefferson Airplane... and how this was THE music scene to be in at the time... Nothing made me more aware of how true that statement was when our concert promoter, Bill Graham, died in a helicopter crash and all these bands came out to the Polo field in Golden Gate Park for a day of free music to honor his life. The icons I watched while sitting on a blanket drinking beer that day blew me away... (http://www.concertvault.com/playlists/bill-graham-memorial-laughter-love-and-music/playlist-280720.html)
By now all you Mudgie-ites are wondering what my concert experience has anything to do with "Becoming Crowell" other than the fact that he's worked in the industry for the past 30 years... here's where it pulls in... Stevie mentioned her moment of psychic awareness when she went to the Velvet Underground, a store where all the stars were buying these amazing outfits... She had pooled up her money to get one and made the trek to the store.... she stood there transfixed knowing she couldn't afford anything in the store but also knowing that all these talented women had stood in the same place she was standing... and that she and Fleetwood Mac WOULD rise to be their equals... She left knowing she was doing what she was meant to do... She finished the story with her mom always saying "do what you love for the rest of your life otherwise you're going to be doing what you hate for a longggggg time"... She implored us all, no matter what age, to find our dreams and follow them.
I'm in. I'm listening to this all and I'm thinking about how happy Bill was fixing the coffee bar and deconstructing the the Victorian Ladies Rocker... and I'm like YES! We have to reach for our business. We are both having fun reconnecting with a hobby/business we did separately years ago. It's time to get our business name licensed, get the tax id number and resellers certificate and maybe even go in whole hog and get a website domain started. I've spent the evening looking all this information up - it's changed since I did it years ago. My brain is melting so I'm letting it go tonight, but when he's back in town we're doing it. Another... COMMITMENT to our future happiness and success. It's a no brainer really. We'll get out what we put into it... and it's something we truly BOTH love doing.
I also need to figure out how to get paid for writing the way I love to write. That's always been out there in the back of my head as something that I'd love to do... when I am done with the wedding, my Masters and rushing rapidly towards my 50th next year, I'd love to have a plan in place for that too....jpg)
My mom asked me the other day if the kids like Bill. I said I thought they did. They all get along well together. At times joking together and at other times comfortable in quiet companionship. Moments like the one I posted on Facebook the other day make me know that things are going to be ok... For those that missed the post... Bill had told me a joke... I told it CJ "You're momma's so stupid she got fired from a blow job." CJ looks at me and says "Blow jobs don't make sense." Bill says "Um yes they do son..." and CJ says... "It's suck not blow and
really it's not a job for anyone therefore it should be a 'suck
hobby'..." Have I mentioned how much I love my son and someone needs to
pick Bill off the floor for me... he's dying of laughter in the corner...
It's easy this life that we're building together. I have to stop at moments and take a deep breath. I'm doing something I never thought I'd do again... putting him on my cell phone plan.... was a contractual COMMITMENT... breathe breathe... talking about moving the majority of his stuff here is a huge commitment for both of us... breathe breathe... but I'm content when he's here... well maybe in the wee hours of the morning when he skips from Mudgie talk radio to Mudgie jujitsu I'm not so content... those moments I wake up with a corner... a mere sliver of a piece of a blanket touching my arm and the entire sheet shoved into my face... I may need a stun gun as a wedding present folks...All kidding aside... to wrap this up and bring it full circle to the beginning of the blog... Yes... Fleetwood Mac has had music to cover each moment in my life... today there's not much truer than this...
"Sweet wonderful you,
You make me happy with the things you do,
Oh, can it be so,
This feeling follows me wherever I go.
I never did believe in miracles,
But I've a feeling it's time to try.
I never did believe in the ways of magic,
But I'm beginning to wonder why.
Don't, don't break the spell,
It would be different and you know it will,
You, you make loving fun,
And I don't have to tell you you're the only one.
You make loving fun.
You make loving fun." You Make Loving Fun, Fleetwood Mac
You make me happy with the things you do,
Oh, can it be so,
This feeling follows me wherever I go.
I never did believe in miracles,
But I've a feeling it's time to try.
I never did believe in the ways of magic,
But I'm beginning to wonder why.
Don't, don't break the spell,
It would be different and you know it will,
You, you make loving fun,
And I don't have to tell you you're the only one.
You make loving fun.
You make loving fun." You Make Loving Fun, Fleetwood Mac
#myblessings
