Fur Babies

 For those of you who opened up this blog today looking for bright shiny Mudgie love, just close it now... you aren't going to get it... today's blog is on the circle of life for our fur babies... I'm writing it now while I can, because when the time comes that I'd like to write it, I won't have it in me.

Along with two kids and two cats, Bill inherited 3 dogs of various ages...  Hana, Stella and Tootsie (aka nonobaddog)...  I've had Hana for 15 years as a month ago today.  She is, we believe, a mix of German Sheppard and Pitbull.  I've googled the life expectancy of both... Sheppard's live usually up to 13 years... Pits, 15. 

Hana (Hanaleigh Kamehameha) was adopted into my family on October 10, 2000.  My ex and I had just returned from an anniversary trip to Hawaii (thus the name), our son was 16 months old, and I wanted a dog as I'd grown up with dogs and believe fur babies help make a house a home.  We peeked in at our local SPCA and there she was... this little ball of fluff that looked just like my first dog and I couldn't walk away.

Hana has always been this stubborn bitch... When she was young she was so full of energy and barely controllable.  We hired a doggie trainer to put her in her place.  My ex, at one point, was done.  He told me she was too much for us... I was pregnant with our daughter, and taking care of a toddler running at full speed.  He found someone he thought would be good for Hana and told me to think about it.  I cried for days when everyone was asleep in our house.  I don't give up on pets.  I fought him and won.

A year later we're moving to Georgia... we have Hana shipped after us... and we get a different temperament dog.  I have jokingly laughed with people since saying "If you're dog wont behave quite right just ship them across the US.  They'll kiss the ground around your feet for the rest of their lives..."  Whatever it was, it was the beginning of her mature years... Didn't rid her of stubborn, but mellowed her.  Stubborn was whatever was on the other side of our fence was hers... don't mind that shock collar, if she wanted it she would yelp through the pain then run after the creature that dared to torment her.  Hana was the dog that went for LONG walks without us... Not like our Stella who ventures only in a radius around our house. 

Hana is my ex husbands dog and my sons dog.  She follows them faithfully.  Each fur baby picks their human.  Stella and Avery chose me... Lucy is Bills (and mine hehe)... Cleo is Katie's... and Tootsie just shares her love with everyone because everyone should love NONOBADDOG... lol.  Anyway... CJ is amazing with Hana in her doddering older years.  Two years ago Hana had a stroke that left her unable to walk with her head straight up.  She lolls to the right... but she hasn't shown a decreased quality in life other than needing to walk against a wall to go downstairs...

The last two winters I was sure she wouldn't make it through the winter.  She's been weak... but she'll show her alpha side if there's a steak and any of the other dogs are thinking they are sharing it.  She doesn't come much to her name being called... but you open the refrigerator and she's in the kitchen.  Selective hearing much?

A month ago we had two cysts removed off of her side and leg.  I guess they removed another growth too that I was unaware of because we got the call last week that the growth was cancer.  They were glad they got it all out.  The last couple of days she's been favoring a back leg... near where the operation had been... That scar is healing...  but I know the C word... and I'm guessing there's more there than we know... and I'm not willing to put her through any more operations at her age.

I've spent the days I've been home the last week giving her all the love I can.... she no longer wants her lifelong morning treat.... but if you put a bowl of meat in front of her you better not put your hand in front of her face... she will devour everything in her way...  which, again shows me she's still fighting...  She can't make it down the stairs anymore, so when she stubbornly goes up the stairs, Bill carries her down when she needs to go outside.

I'm pretty positive she's got dementia... her bowels are weak and we're cleaning up daily... and yet she keeps showing me she's got life... but I'm looking at her and knowing that this winter really is the winter she's not going to make it through and it's tearing me apart...  I know our family is going to have to make that tough decision sooner than later and I'm just waiting for the old girl to tell me "when"... You know it's coming when they lay down in the garden to enjoy the sun and you just wish God would take them right there and then, in a happy place.

I'm soo glad that I fought 13 years ago to keep her... she's been a great part of our family all these years.... My protector.. my family's loyal fur baby... My Hana.

If You Forget My Love...

"Red lights are flashing on the highway
 I wonder if we're gonna ever get home
 I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

But if you break down 
I'll drive out and find you 
If you forget my love 
I'll try to remind you 
And stay by you when it don't come easy 

I don't know nothing except change will come 
Year after year what we do is undone 
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run 
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home 

You're out there walking down a highway 
And all of the signs got blown away 
Sometimes you wonder 
if you're walking in the wrong direction 

But if you break down 
I'll drive out and find you 
If you forget my love 
I'll try to remind you 
And stay by you 
when it don't come easy 

So many things that I had before 
That don't matter to me now 
Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost 
And the love I've never found 
When the last bird falls 
And the last siren sounds 
Someone will say what's been said before 
Some love we were looking for 

But if you break down 
I'll drive out and find you 
If you forget my love 
I'll try to remind you 
And stay by you 
when it don't come easy" - Patty Griffin "When it Don't Come Easy"

Once again it has been a while since I've posted in our blog... Apparently since July... Where does all the time fly? We went from me being in school to saying yes to starting our business. Throw in our doing our not so normal day jobs and apparently I have lost 3 months!

I've been listening to music trying to figure out what I want to play at our wedding... What songs I want to walk to, etc... One of my favorites that I finally put out of the running this weekend (because it's not quite appropriate for a wedding) needs to have an honorable mention. "When it Don't Come Easy"... if you haven't heard it before, go to YouTube and listen to it. It's simple and gorgeous... and truly what everyone needs in their so called crazy lives... I kept thinking it's a good one for us because sometimes it seems like our jobs take us everywhere but home. Bill gets grumpier (impatient for the time to end) as the days go by and I soldier on and shut down emotionally because it's easier for me to put my heart on 'power save mode'... I'm content... it's our lifestyles and I know our planets will align sooner or later... I'm not one to let the time apart affect me as there's not enough rent in my head or time in my day to dwell on it... I prefer to look forward to the good times and not think about  the days apart. Just not good for this crazy California girl's juju.  Peace and moonbeams and daily blessings and shizzle.   Perhaps this is why we work together... We balance each other with peace and moonbeams and for fucks sake and bags of diseased... well anyone that knows Bill knows where I'm going with that one... lol

When we're home we're off and running... working on projects... cleaning and cooking and taking turns with who gets to nap on the couch. I've had it all day today... so it's got his name on it for tomorrow... I'm sure I'll post a picture with him surrounded by dogs and cats and completely out... A happy Mudgie for sure.  Then he'll be back up... recharged and in the garage working on whatever project I've tagged for him to do while he screams words I'll have to explain to the Korean families nearby if they ever get the courage to ask me why my man is screaming such words... It's working for us so far though... Our booth is making a profit... We're expanding in 3 days.  Fingers crossed we keep making these lovely profits... we're enjoying the hunt and flip...  I can't tell you how much I love that he gets the thrill of antiquing and feeling stuff made years ago... Things just aren't made the same anymore are they Ikea?

BTW... the songs in position to be the 'winners' for the wedding are "Leather and Lace", an oldie but goodie of our time... and "Marry Me" by Amanda Marshall...  I guess I should just add to my vows that I've already written... "if you break down, I'll drive out and find you... you forget my love, I'll try to remind you... stand by you when it don't come easy... if you're holding a pot of coffee and a bottle of rumchata though it'll make it easier... for better or for worse for rumchata or coffee pour-er"  :)

It's time to finish cooking down the pumpkin to make the first pumpkin bread of the season... I've got bacon in the fridge... and the makings for the cookies Bill has requested...  I'm about to remind Bill of my love when he gets home later tonight... The way to a Mudgie heart is food, a big kiss and a drink... and a kitty purr or two...

If it's Love...

It's been a few months since I've published in this blog... Life has been crazy... between work and house and kids and school... I should be reading school work now for this semester but my IPad decided it was time to do some major upgrade and I decided to take this quiet moment to talk about the last couple of weeks/months...


"While everybody else is getting out of bed I’m usually getting in it
I’m not in it to win it
And there’s a thousand ways you can skin it
My feet have been on the floor
Flat like an idle singer
Remember winger
I digress
I confess you are the best thing in my life
But I’m afraid when I hear stories
About a husband and wife
There’s no happy endings
No Henry Lee
But you are the greatest thing about me"....

Our schedules are crazy... we fight to have a week a month together... and when we do we throw all the happiness and appreciation for each other into those moments spent... neither taking the other for granted... we talk in each others love languages (food/presents/more food/junkin)...

"Took a loan on a house I own
Can’t be a queen bee without a bee throne
I wanna buy ya everything
Except cologne
’cause it’s poison
We can travel to Spain where the rain falls
Mainly on the plain side and sing
’cause it is we can laugh we can sing
Have ten kids and give them everything (author edit-NO... 10 grandkids maybe)
Hold our cell phones up in the air
And just be glad we made it here alive
On a spinning ball in the middle of space
I love you from your toes to your face..."

We get each other... from his ever growing frog collection to my constant additions to the garden... to the chandeliers and lights we have reworked together to just sitting down at the end of the day having a drink in comfortable companionship.

The kids adore him.  CJ talks non stop with him all the time making Bill guffaw with his wit... Katie silently comes in and hugs him and walks out with a bowl of ice cream he's insured is there for her.  She's tried to get him to deliver food to her room but she doesn't have him quite that wrapped around her finger...  yet....

 "If it’s love
And we decide that it’s forever
No one else could do it better
If it’s love
And we’re two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever
And if I’m addicted to loving you
And you’re addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, Love
That’s enough for me"

 Two birds of a feather...  we get each other...  my family loves him... they 'get' him too... At my cousins wedding last week I got to see another cousin that I haven't seen in WAYYYY too long... by the end of the night she's screaming "I LOVE THIS MAN" to me... It may partly have been the tequila but I told her how dad and I said Bill reminded us of Bud, her father, my uncle I lost a few months ago... and she got it. 

Speaking of my cousins wedding... that's the first time Bill and I got to actually go away together.  Travel somewhere together... he's blessedly easy to travel with... and anyone in my industry knows how important it is to have someone who is low maintenance to travel with... High maintenance travel partners need not apply...

We have fun together... he does crazy shit that makes me giggle...  He doesn't take himself too seriously... those that saw the feather trump hair picture... you know what I mean...

When we take on a project or an idea for a project together... I blink and it's done... it's up and assembled before I can say a word... Once we get our garage organized with the tools he needs for our business he's going to be a force to be reckoned with...  He only squirms on some of the projects... usually the loading part of the project... like the calla lilies I dug from a friends garden... "Ragle you are KILLING MEEEEEEEEE".... as he's taking the 3rd load to my ever sinking with weight Jeep...

"You can move in
I won’t ask where you’ve been
’cause everybody has a past
When we’re older
We’ll do it all over again
When everybody else is getting out of bed
I’m usually getting in it
I’m not in it to win it
I’m in it for you"


 

Life is simply good...  We're in it for each other... for those who doubted us from our quick decisions made early on in our relationship...  this is for you...

 For Bill, my love... since I don't have the big blue thumb in blogger... you'll understand this is for you... 

in sickness and in health

14 years ago I had cancer. I was married, had two babies and while I went through my treatments my ex husband was not there emotionally or physically for me.  I remember specific moments during those times today and it still can bring extreme anger to me. I learned in those moments that "for worse" with him would never be good. That the support system I needed was lacking.

10 days ago I broke. I came home from a 4 day trip with a pinched nerve and muscle spams in my neck that left me breathless and crying. Bill came down and helped me. The first couple nights he woke up each night throughout the night to lift my head for me so I could turn my head. He watched me cry... he put a heating pad on me... he laid for 3 hours one night in an uncomfortable position because the only way I could sleep was leaning against him.

God said that wasn't enough for me to learn a lesson. .. so I broke further... that night, the first night, in the middle of the night a cut I had on my thumb became septic. We figured it out first thing the next morning. We went to the emergency room and spent 6 hours there. I've been on a very large regimen of pills the past 10 days. Bill has woken up faithfully every morning at 6 a_m and handed me a pill. He has come up to me at noon every afternoon with a glass of water and pills. He has come up to me at 6 p_m with a glass of water and a pill. He has ensured the alarm system was set and that I'm taking my midnight round.  He took care of my kids... got them ready every morning and let me sleep and get the rest I need to heal. He cleaned, cooked, and let me do nothing. There are so many reasons why anyone should love this man. He's got the biggest heart and soul there is. The past 10 days, he showed me that if, god forbid, for worse comes to me again that he will be there without complaining... quietly and wholeheartedly supporting me through anything I might go through. Put a price on that. You can't. I'm counting my blessings.  Thank you God for that lesson.

Peep Day and Other Misc Mudgie Moments...

So much has happened in the last couple of weeks.  It's time to do a Mudgie Merger Update...  

• The RING!  As many of you saw on Facebook,  Bill finally found his mothers ring and it's officially on my hand.  He has his moms original wedding band too.  I suggested that we design a ring for him and use that gold so we'll both be wearing his moms rings.  We've already got a basic idea of what we want it to look like... we'll keep you updated...  In the mean time a close friend of the family who I've finally found again (thank you Facebook) saw that post and has offered her original wedding band... which was made with MY parents original bands and her dads band...  I'm soo excited about wearing that ring as my band as I absolutely adore the people who have worn the gold before me...  I've told Bill I still want an eternity band... so if all goes as planned today... I'll have a small eternity band, the gold band from my family and friend, and Bills moms ring on my finger... How loved am I going to feel every time I look at my hand?  #sniff

• The move...  As everyone knows Bill we be splitting his time between Atlanta (Ragle Castle) and Richmond (Camp Crowell) until either he can find work down in Atlanta or my daughter graduates and we can find a happy medium place for us to live.  We aren't the first couple to have a two city relationship...  just grateful it's not bi-coastal.  I'm doing my best to make Atlanta feel like home to him when he's there.  Since he brought down his moms sideboard I put the chest of drawers that formerly acted like a sideboard into our bedroom so he'd have his own chest...  He keeps marveling that he has drawers to put his drawers into... I'm still marveling that I was able to empty a drawer in the bathroom sink for him.  lol

•   Easter...  Bill was indoctrinated into my family's annual Easter traditions.  It was relatively painless as it involved wine, sitting having a smoke with my dad, hiding baskets and lots of good food.  My family has officially boycotted my annual "Easter Bunny Hop" dance.  Sigh... they just don't understand...  One blessing my kids should be counting... their inherited height from their dad... with Bill hiding baskets in a riggeresque sort of manner this will be very useful to them in the upcoming years I think... :) 

• What to do with Peeps?  We've had an interesting week involving Peep destruction... My son put two in the microwave to see what would happen... Bill broiled peeps for us and that was heavenly...  Then Bill and I made Peep vodka... which he has distilled and says looked too much like pee so apparently he's put in a drop or two of food color and made it look like sweet tea instead lol... Either way I'm looking forward to getting home and trying this in hot chocolate...  hmm... what else?  Oh yeah... torches and peeps... He enthralled my kids by torching peeps and putting the torched carcasses between chocolate graham crackers... I made him hide the torch after because I think my kids enjoyed that activity wayyyy too much.  He has ensured me that not only is it hidden but it's broken down and hidden in two places.  Thank you baby.

• Wedding Activities...  We hit up an estate sale last week that supplied a large portion of our wedding needs... We found chargers (large plates), wide mouth ball jars (yes that's what you're drinking out of), two drink decanters, a candy jar (candy station for favors)... and more... we've been buying things as we find them so we aren't spending a huge chunk at one time as we get closer... It's fun looking and piecing together what should be a fun down home shabby chic country backyard wedding... especially since he nixed the etiquette book... because who needs etiquette with bourbon and bbq right?   

•  Down Time...  While it seems like we are constantly going non stop between work, kids, dogs, organizing our lives... and trying to get my thesis done... we DO give ourselves breaks here and there... a moment of quiet...  Spring is here and outside is starting to bloom and warm up to a temperature that you just can't resist sitting in for a moment... What to do?  Fire up the barbeque... pour a bourbon coke and a bourbon diet (two peas in a pod)... sit down and... take pictures of each other and post them on facebook.... I do declare we are middle aged geeks.  lol

•  Honey dos...  Near completion are the coffee bar... as you can see the mirror and lighting is installed in it... we are picking up the glass shelves when I return and this beauty will be ready to stock completely... His and hers French presses... Champagne Glasses... Rum Chata, Bourbon Cream, and a few other liquors...  Also nearly complete is our medieval chandelier... he cleaned it up and hung it but is telling me he thinks it needs to be lowered a few more inches... Gotta stare at it when I get home and decide if I agree.  Love that he loves working on these projects... Love that we're a team...

Let me close today's rambling blog with a note I found as I was heading off to work last week... I carried it in my pocket for the trip... This peep torching, basket rigging, jack of all trades grumpy Mudgie has the biggest heart on the planet... and I consider myself very lucky indeed... 

Suck Hobby and Other Off the Topic Stuff...

Today's blog begins with musings from last night, then reflects on the past week and ends with this evening and going forward with my life....

My girls and I spent the night with a woman I have identified with since the moment I could remember music...  I've always said I was a California 70's country girl channeling my inner Stevie Nicks...  As I watched Fleetwood Mac perform last night I thought about how each of their songs had a place in my growth as an adult.

Dreams...  A song I've loved since I first heard it.  It became my go to song in the late 80's whenever I was in a bar attempting to sing karaoke... I'm not a fabulous singer by any means but I can do a smoky Stevie....

Song Bird... I dedicated this song to an old boyfriend that died in a crash in 1989.  That and Sitting on the Dock of the Bay always remind me of him.  Song Bird was more for the name because he was a Snow Bird.  I adored him but we weren't together long enough for the sentiments of this beautiful song to ring true for me for him... 

Landslide...  The older I get the more this song just grows in my heart.... The landslides we must go through to change and mature and hope in the end the trash in your life is swept away as we brush off the dirt and stand strong again... "But times make you bolder, children grow older, I'm getting older too...  I take my love and I take it down..."  Yeah boo nourish the flowers on your hill or a landslide will bring you down....  (not directed at you Bill.. just society in general)

Second Hand News...  The trash that we hope gets recycled into anothers life and out of ours forever...  This is dedicated to all of our ex's... :)
 
As I listened to my life in music... I reflected about the changes I'd gone through in my life in the past 30 years and in the past year.  Memories flooded me.  I smiled... I sniffled... I remembered my karaoke days at Pierce Street Annex, the bar I worked at in my early 20's...  I remembered listening to Rumours over and over and over again... That album was one that soothed my soul...  lyrics like "wont you let me lay you in the tall grass and let me do my stuff..." to "Don't say that you love me, just say that you want me..." to "it's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and have you any dreams you want to sell..." to "and the song bird's keep singing like they know the score and I love you I love you I love you like never before...."  they make me grin and cry and think about life....

Historical tidbit... at the concert Stevie mentioned that Lindsay had gone to Menlo/Atherton High School- this is south of where I grew up.  I told Alex that this meant that Lindsay grew up in a monied household.  I spoke to my step father later in the evening and told him this and he gave me a little bit of history (he's a San Francisco Bay Area/California historian)...  Lindsay's brother Greg was an Olympic swimmer... Lindsay swam as well as Greg did.  Lindsay's swim coach in college told him to "give up this music business you'll never amount to anything in it..."  To this day the swim coach still bemoans his now historical error....  bwahahaha...  as I watched Lindsay perform last night I knew I was watching a Rock and Roll ICON.  The man is an amazing guitarist and singer.

Anyway, so Stevie's talking about the San Francisco music scene and I see it in my head.  I grew up there.  Worked around the scene.  While my high school years were in the 80's...  my era is the 70's...  The long flowing hair with daisy chains...  Amazing ice cream in the Haight (Ashbury)....  She's talking about the bands she opened for... the same bands I snuck out to see without my parents knowing... Grateful Dead... Jefferson Airplane... and how this was THE music scene to be in at the time...  Nothing made me more aware of how true that statement was when our concert promoter, Bill Graham, died in a helicopter crash and all these bands came out to the Polo field in Golden Gate Park for a day of free music to honor his life.   The icons I watched while sitting on a blanket drinking beer that day blew me away... (http://www.concertvault.com/playlists/bill-graham-memorial-laughter-love-and-music/playlist-280720.html)

By now all you Mudgie-ites are wondering what my concert experience has anything to do with "Becoming Crowell" other than the fact that he's worked in the industry for the past 30 years... here's where it pulls in... Stevie mentioned her moment of psychic awareness when she went to the Velvet Underground, a store where all the stars were buying these amazing outfits... She had pooled up her money to get one and made the trek to the store.... she stood there transfixed knowing she couldn't afford anything in the store but also knowing that all these talented women had stood in the same place she was standing... and that she and Fleetwood Mac WOULD rise to be their equals... She left knowing she was doing what she was meant to do...  She finished the story with her mom always saying "do what you love for the rest of your life otherwise you're going to be doing what you hate for a longggggg time"...  She implored us all, no matter what age, to find our dreams and follow them.

I'm in.  I'm listening to this all and I'm thinking about how happy Bill was fixing the coffee bar and deconstructing the the Victorian Ladies Rocker... and I'm like YES!  We have to reach for our business.  We are both having fun reconnecting with a hobby/business we did separately years ago.  It's time to get our business name licensed, get the tax id number and resellers certificate and maybe even go in whole hog and get a website domain started.  I've spent the evening looking all this information up - it's changed since I did it years ago.  My brain is melting so I'm letting it go tonight, but when he's back in town we're doing it.  Another... COMMITMENT to our future happiness and success.  It's a no brainer really.  We'll get out what we put into it... and it's something we truly BOTH love doing.

I also need to figure out how to get paid for writing the way I love to write.  That's always been out there in the back of my head as something that I'd love to do... when I am done with the wedding, my Masters and rushing rapidly towards my 50th next year, I'd love to have a plan in place for that too...

My mom asked me the other day if the kids like Bill.  I said I thought they did.  They all get along well together.  At times joking together and at other times comfortable in quiet companionship.  Moments like the one I posted on Facebook the other day make me know that things are going to be ok...  For those that missed the post... Bill had told me a joke... I told it CJ "You're momma's so stupid she got fired from a blow job." CJ looks at me and says "Blow jobs don't make sense." Bill says "Um yes they do son..." and CJ says... "It's suck not blow and really it's not a job for anyone therefore it should be a 'suck hobby'..." Have I mentioned how much I love my son and someone needs to pick Bill off the floor for me...  he's dying of laughter in the corner...

It's easy this life that we're building together.  I have to stop at moments and take a deep breath.  I'm doing something I never thought I'd do again... putting him on my cell phone plan.... was a contractual COMMITMENT... breathe breathe... talking about moving the majority of his stuff here is a huge commitment for both of us... breathe breathe... but I'm content when he's here... well maybe in the wee hours of the morning when he skips from Mudgie talk radio to Mudgie jujitsu I'm not so content... those moments I wake up with a corner... a mere sliver of a piece of a blanket touching my arm and the entire sheet shoved into my face...  I may need a stun gun as a wedding present folks...

All kidding aside...  to wrap this up and bring it full circle to the beginning of the blog...  Yes... Fleetwood Mac has had music to cover each moment in my life...  today there's not much truer than this...

"Sweet wonderful you,
You make me happy with the things you do,
Oh, can it be so,
This feeling follows me wherever I go.
I never did believe in miracles,
But I've a feeling it's time to try.
I never did believe in the ways of magic,
But I'm beginning to wonder why.
Don't, don't break the spell,
It would be different and you know it will,
You, you make loving fun,
And I don't have to tell you you're the only one.
You make loving fun.
You make loving fun."   You Make Loving Fun, Fleetwood Mac

 #myblessings

The Grand Planned Speech and the Worst Kept Secret Ever

This thing called living... I've been doing it just fine these past 8.5 years on my own... raising my kids and a plethora of fur babies.  I've frequently thought that the longer I was single the chances of anyone ever talking me out of that status was going to get slimmer.  I've learned to do things on my own such as caulking walls, using the he-man fire unit aka a grill for cooking... etc...  I've been content to have my peace and quiet when the kids were at their fathers... and now I find that I'm not so good at being alone.  The quiet that echos in my house when Bill leaves booms loudly in my head and my heart aches.  In the span of half a year he's become one of my best friends.  Someone I trust to do the things he says he's going to do... and do things I don't expect him to do without asking.  He has walked into my life, analyzed what I needed and provided the loving comfort I didn't know I was missing...

The last week has, once again, been amazing.  We've worked in the garden together... he's continued to work on our coffee bar...  we've gone to estate sales and laughed with my bestie Cherie...  We've made amazing dinners and breakfasts and just enjoyed each others company every waking minute... and of course there was plenty of... bacon.

The Lil Red Dress Party for the American Heart Association was the first time Bill and I have really gone "out" with my friends.  Our typical night here is friends coming over, eating drinks and having dinner... to get dressed up and be part of this event with him was alot of fun... and alot of kisses and lecherous leers between the two of us. 

We left the party a little bit after midnight and I guess I was just a wee bit tipsy...  I'd burned my finger on a candle (don't ask-also part of the wee bit tipsy.. it was a good idea at the time...) and Bill went to get me ice for the burn.  Instead of just shoving my finger into the ice bucket, apparently I kept throwing ice at him and then promising to stop...  Mental note... if I'm hiccuping, doing silly shizzle like that or any other signs of intoxication... I'm not going to stop... well he probably could have risked an ice cube up close and kissed me... I would have forgotten the cube and the burn quickly.... Instead he thought the bathtub would be a good place to sleep and took all the covers with him... He came back minutes later to me passed out... with finger in bucket... BURP!  He tucks me in and goes to sleep too... and wakes up in the wee hours to go to work.... and left me this sweet note...  Guess ice cubes don't scare him really... ;)

I spent Valentines day at estate sales with my bestie while poor Bill worked with future pole dancers.  I grabbed him at Marta and brought him to a restaurant at 3 where they had a drink and loaded french fries waiting for him.  I know what my man needs.  :)  We laughed as we looked through facebook... it was the day that everyone that knew about the worst kept secret had been waiting for... and they were stalking every post trying to read into whether or not he'd gone through with his plans... My dad and step mother were the worst of all.  :)  Everyone knew he had a speech planned and a ring in hand and were waiting to hear what happened...

He grilled me a fabulous steak even though it was windy and freezing outside.  The wind kept blowing out the gas grill and I got to listen to full blown Mudgie screaming at the wind... Gotta know I love him madly when I hear the insanity outside and I'm guffawing inside.  He really is going to scare little kids when he's 92 and holding a cane lol...  We had a beautiful candlelight dinner in the formal dining room... and went to chill out between dinner and desert on the couch.  The exhaustion he's feeling from the last 48 hours is all over his face... He tells me "do not let me fall asleep" as he sits next to me on the couch... and 10 minutes later he's attempting to lay down and put his head on my lap.  I stroked his head and said "Baby you realize this means you are going to sleep... Lets go to bed"... and he clambered upstairs with the last ounce of energy he had...  He got into bed and I snuggled up next to him ready to pass out...   He says "I need to know... are you really IN THIS?"

Me:  "Yes.  Duh."

Him:  "Will you marry me?"

Me:  "Yes"

ring goes on finger...  (this is a loaner until he finds his mothers... but I'll cherish it and the person who loaned it always)

Him:  "Now can you put that out on Facebook so everyone can calm down." and he thinks he's going to sleep.

I change our status and the world goes crazy... and Bill wakes up as he grins at each and every one of the sweet messages... and even the one that I received via text that wasn't so sweet "fuck" and I walk downstairs to grab us champagne and the Mocha Mousse I made... a mini celebration is in order...

We sleep in the next day... and as I drive him to work I think about the "Grand Planned Speech" and start to guffaw... I ask him "Honey was that THE speech you had worked out in your head..."  and he joins in on my giggling.... "No darling that was me, with nothing left in me... thinking you knew everything I needed to say... it'd all been said before... and I just wanted to get it done while I was awake and it was still Valentines Day..."

He's right... it's all been said by both of us over the past six months.... and doing it low key like that in our house... snuggled up in our bed... really fits us more than a flash mob of friends dancing to Taylor Swift...

Now it's time to plan the wedding... and move his ass down here... and get comfortably ensconced in our "norm"...  Here's my glimpse into our future... Driving him to gigs as he sleeps in the car... The man can't stay awake for longer than 10 minutes in a moving vehicle... which I find terribly funny... because he beats me by only seconds... I suck as a passenger in a car... I'm out in no time flat... I think we had family that was separated at birth generations ago... because Bill and I obviously have the same genetic makeup lol...

Either way... I've got mad Mudgie love and life is great when he's here... I'm moping around a bit this afternoon... I've told the kids officially and CJ is suggesting Bill comes to the marriage with a dowry of Legos...  Katie will be happy with chocolate and bacon... the cats will be happy with the "cat whisperer"... the dogs will be happy with his company... and I'll be happy with the man who completes my home...

April 2016 here we come.