Introspections

Last week Bill and I spent an amazing time with my parents on a cruise around the islands listening to extremely talented Jazz performers and just enjoying some down time together in our normally hectic lives.  This week we've both tiptoed back to work but still have been able to see each other daily... It's a gift and we know it.

Today I've been struggling... I've been reminded throughout the week how tenuous our blessings are...  From the coworker I flew with yesterday whose 30 year old daughter was killed in China while she was doing what she loved to do... teach...  how her mother seven months later is still struggling to find a new normal... a loss I can't even begin to imagine...  My words of comfort seemed hollow as I searched for anything that I could say to help her get through just one day...  she mentioned she was looking for a way to honor her... to hold onto her... and mentioned a scholarship... I suggested she reach out to the organizations that send teachers abroad and help pay for tickets for those that could normally not afford to get there... help other young people follow her daughters dreams... She turned and looked at me with a spark in her eyes... and said "I LOVE that."

To a friend/acquaintance who suddenly lost her husband of 21 years on her birthday, their anniversary and Valentines day...  I sat dumbfounded in a chair as I took in exactly how bad this previously golden week will be for her from this point on.   It's another loss I can't comprehend... 51... too young.  I don't know what, if anything I can do for her... other than pray.

To my hopefully final dose of the reality of life... the discovery that another friend has cancer... I drove by her this week... I thought it was her but she didn't have hair... so I thought maybe it was my imagination... but I chewed on it and started asking around... no one else knew either... so someone closer to her called and confirmed what I thought I saw... and I'm scared and devastated... my heart hurts... this proud, strong and beautiful woman... I've been trying to think of what to say/do to help... I'm still praying on that answer... but I will be reaching out to her next week... as I'm reaching out to others to see if they want to help too...  it takes a village... and I've been in her shoes...

I found out exactly how sick she was as I was driving to pick up Bill last night... and I cried as I waited for him.  When he got to the car I told him the answer... and I quietly said "This was a very good week for you to quit smoking..."

I have been close to tears most of today.  Looking deep within for answers for them... for myself and for life in general.  The answer I came up with for ME... is this is all a reminder of how fragile life is.  I learned with my own cancer years ago that each day is a gift... one to be cherished as much as you can... to let go of the small stuff and to appreciate the blessings around me...

and I do... from the roof over my head... to my fur babies... to my cherished girlfriends... sisters of my heart... to my children who fill me with wonder daily... to my husband... who gave me the best valentines gift ever by quitting smoking... and potentially giving me a lot longer life to look forward with him...  I love all of you... Thank you for being my lifes blood.

Pray.