I Don't Know The Way But I'll Be There Soon... (Setting Goals in 2019 Part 1)

It's been a while since I've turned to THIS blog... for those who don't know me well, I have a few... one for gardening, one for my junkin/renovating lifestyle... and this... for my family life...  I've spent a lot of time on our home renovations this past year but lately I've felt the need to focus also on the renovation of me.  Don't get me wrong... I'm not changing my heart - the core of who I am... I'm pretty ok with who I've become internally...  there's just a few things that I need to tweak this year...

2007

Today's goal topic:  Losing Weight or Reducing Some of the Crowell I've Become lol...

12 years ago, when I was going through my divorce with my kids dad, I was a stay at home mom who had the financial ability to get a personal trainer and the emotions to eat almost nothing.  I resumed the running that I did in my teens/20's and, at 40, was in the best shape I'd been in my life.  Divorce diets are amazing! (I'm not willing to do that again)  I modeled for fun... ran races every month... got a belly button piercing (you could SEE my belly button)... and looked amazing.  By the time the divorce was through, I was happier than I'd been in a long time.  Lost the personal trainer... but kept running... running was my therapy...  I ran through happiness and sadness... anger and triumphs... I worked out issues as I ran, and as an added benefit it kept me thin...

2016

During the months and years that followed I discovered myself - my strengths, weaknesses, and needs as a single woman, which is something everyone should do before marriage but few ever do... and when I finally met my husband I was ready for the "click" that said THIS man was the missing link... who fit into the life I had made and with whom I had become in that decade... I found myself not needing the long runs but needing the rare times we spent together... junkin, creating and eating amazing meals on our kitchen patio.  I'd found peace in my life.  Sidebar - those of you that know my hub... YES that crazy, grumpy, high energy Tasmanian devil CAN be peaceful... at times...

What I also found in these 5 years was more than a few pounds...  I laughed my way out of a size 4... which really isn't healthy for my height and body type anyway...  and then started feeling a bit guilty as my 6's started getting tight... I've been an 8 for the past 2 years... pushing a 10.  I've been joking about being fat and happy... until I decided it was time to change my job... and I went to try on suits... Gone were the days that I could walk in, put clothes on and have them "just fit"... I was having a Cathy moment with each suit and my ego deflated rapidly.  By Lent this year I decided it was time... time to stop laughing and stop looking at myself with less love.  I don't want to be 126 and a size 4 again... I just want my 6's back... and comfortably so.

3/6/2019 27.5 BMI

Have you looked at your weight and height BMI??? I did the moment I decided a change was coming... it's lovely to have a computer tell you what you know... that you're overweight.  I'm pretty positive I dropped an f bomb at my phone... then I did two things... started recording what I was eating... and last week I signed up with a program though my work...  online coaching sessions.... my first 1-1 is today.  I don't know if it will help... I just need accountability if I start to fall off this new wagon I'm on.  On March 6th I gave myself an attainable and more importantly a maintainable goal...  and I'm heading for it.  In 3 weeks I've lost 10 pounds.  The first week I didn't drink alcohol at all.  Now I'm allowing myself a glass a day... unless I'm with friends and then I allow myself to have a good time without guilt... I've pretty much stopped the junk food... except when I'm working Tuesdays... because everyone needs Donut Tuesdays...  I'm eating smarter... and I'm not starving... I haven't had pizza or a hamburger in 3 weeks... and I'll live...

As of today I'm 5 pounds away from the BMI telling me I'm healthy... 15 pounds away from 6's being comfortable... and 20 pounds away from the goal.  As of today, I still have no desire to start running again... my hip wasn't loving it by the time I quit... but recording that food... Keeps me on track... and I'm happy with the results so far... ooohhhh... and that hub of mine gets a big gold star 🌟... when I told him I was doing this... he said "you're doing this for YOU right???"  He loves me thinner or thicker... and wanted to make sure I knew I didn't need to do this. 💓💓💓

I'll update y'all on my Lenten success on Easter (April 21st)... and when I reach the 20 pound mark, I'll post a picture... keeping it honest and real... because again... I need accountability... :)

Stay tuned for Part 2 of 2019 Goals....